My heart ache at the thought of Your grace, mercy and love to me.
Who am i to deserve such amazing grace.
Flatters, compliments, by so many people. Care and concern...
I feel so blessed.
Thank you Father, and thank you Angels.
I love you ... ...
And I only live to worship you. I long for the day that I can be with you.

(First day: this very stern looking angmoh sales manager came in and suddenly they say I have to role play with another person instead of my team. Suddenly Sales manager of Swisse, Ian, came in. And I was selected. Everyone want very quiet and in the end it was huge applause and everyone said it was good. Even Ian himself. He was giving good comments and constructive feedbacks.  manager, in charges, All said that it was good. Said really well. Even Olivia, Xinqi, Emily. Serene. Vera..someone I don't know came up and really explain in details how good .. Like say like the way I talk.. How I approach the customer etc. w
Second day, ceo of swisse also said so. Like after it was done everyone clapped and all said was good like nth much to add on. Serene asked me to helped her and said like a few times. When I was sick, these bunch of angels offered me advice and even gimme panadols and digestive powder out from no where. I have never ever feel so.. Accepted, prideful, satisfied, belongingness, confident and proud of being me, and really being loved and cared for. Never ever. So this is what heaven feels like...

I feel really appreciative Lord. Thank you thank you thank you!!!!!!! I feel like I wanna cry, again

Deep. More.
Deeper.

This is what I wanna get from life.
I wanna squeeze every drop of it till I'm satisfied

Rock Lee:

1)      If you believe in your dreams, I will prove to you, that you can achieve your dreams just by working hard.

2)      My motto is to be stronger than yesterday, if I have to I'll be stronger than half a day ago, even a minute ago!

3)      I want to show I can be a splendid ninja as well even if I don't have ninjutsu or genjutsu... I want to prove it to the whole world!

4)      If I can't do 400 push-ups, I'll hit the dummy 800 times! If I can't hit the dummy 800 times, I'll do 2000 jump ropes!

5)      A genius, huh? What does that mean? "Genius"? So I was not born with a whole lot of natural talent, not gifted like Neji ...but I work hard and I never give up! That is my gift, that is my ninja way!

6)      A dropout will beat a genius through hard work.

Might Guy:

7)      If you want to be free from your suffering, make up your mind. If you give up on your dream, you will suffer more.

8)      It's not always possible to do what we want to do, but it's important to believe in something before you actually do it.

9)      You're right, all efforts are pointless... If you don't believe in yourself.

10)   That's it, Lee! Let the power of youth explode!!

11)   You have the gift of perseverance, and that's what makes you a genius too!

12)   Don't let anything stir you up the path you have drawn for yourself! Forge ahead in the end! Stick to it Lee! Make me proud! Be everything you can be!

13)   You worked hard Lee, there's no doubt in my mind the surgery will be a success. You have the power to shape your own destiny. And on the one-in-one thousand, no, one in a million chance something to happen to go wrong, I will die right along with you. Since the day I met you, my nindō has been to train you to become the most splendid ninja possible. That's a promise!

14)   *to Neji* I was a failure when I was your age, but now I can even beat Kakashi, the elite genius. It's only a matter of time until Lee finally surpasses you!

15)   to Kakashi* What is with your attitude?! We'll never be young like this again!

Sakura Haruno:

16)   Every one of us must do what's in their power! If we're going to die anyway, then it's better to die fighting than to do nothing!

The now

 <table cellspacing="2" style="background:#000;"><tr><th style="width:200px;background:#000; color:#fff;font-weight:bold;">Disorder</th><th style="width:120px;background:#000; color:#fff;font-weight:bold;">Your Score</th></tr><tr><td style="background:#cda;padding:3px;"><b><a href="http://www.depressedtest.com/major_depression.html" style="color:#000;">Major Depression</a>:</b></td><td style="text-align:center;background:#cda;padding:3px;color:#000;">Very High</td></tr><tr><td style="background:#eeb;padding:3px;"><b><a href="http://www.depressedtest.com/dysthymia.html" style="color:#000;">Dysthymia</a>:</b></td><td style="text-align:center;background:#eeb;padding:3px;color:#000;">Extremely High</td></tr><tr><td style="background:#cda;padding:3px;"><b><a href="http://www.depressedtest.com/bipolar.html" style="color:#000;">Bipolar Disorder</a>:</b></td><td style="text-align:center;background:#cda;padding:3px; color:#000;">Slight</td></tr><tr><td style="background:#eeb;padding:3px;"><b><a href="http://www.depressedtest.com/cyclothymia.html" style="color:#000;">Cyclothymia</a>:</b></td><td style="text-align:center;background:#eeb;padding:3px;color:#000;">Slight-Moderate</td></tr><tr><td style="background:#cda;padding:3px;"><b><a href="http://www.depressedtest.com/sad.html" style="color:#000;">Seasonal Affective Disorder</a>:</b></td><td style="text-align:center;background:#cda;padding:3px;color:#000;">Moderate</td></tr><tr><td style="background:#eeb;padding:3px;"><b><a href="http://www.depressedtest.com/postpartum.html" style="color:#000;">Postpartum Depression</a>:</b></td><td style="text-align:center;background:#eeb;padding:3px;color:#000;">N/A</td></tr><tr><td colspan="2" style="text-align:center;background:#cda;padding:3px;"><b><a href="http://www.depressedtest.com/" style="color:#000;">Take the Depression Test</a></td></tr></table>

Nature is a painkiller

Walked and ran for two hours. Passed by the canal of my sec sch.
Finally been to the place I wanna go. I just passed by it unknowingly. And oh my... It took my breath away. The air.. The view of the water, sea, Sky. There's no place I rather be (cue rather be)
I walked, ran a little. First thing I did was to walk as close as possible to the water and just breathe.. Started stretching myself. You won't believe how good it feels.  Sat down on a stone bench and just started dazing. It's def one of my fav places.

Needy? Yes I'm. Because I'm insecure. Anyone like me should be. Without the support of a single soul, and having a self-destructive soul. I yearn for something, for someone, to stop this pain. I'm afraid, of what I would do to myself.

So, it happened like this.

I was standing at one of the carriages towards the end of the train, near the Reserved seat. The train was passing through some foreign countries that looked like Taiwan or Hongkong. I wasn't in a good mood. Most of the students weren't. I think it was a mixture of the students from secondary school.

Another two girls were standing nearby. One is Weng XX, the other I'm not sure. Then it was getting boring so I chatted a bit with Weng, and introduced her to teaching Chinese tuition for my student. From another seat, Shen SH, the biggest joker, started to tease this guy C and me. I ignored them. A few other students and him then prompt me to look inside my plastic bags. I saw a packet of eggs that are yellow coloured and drawn with different Smily faces. I think I saw some extra snacks. I was confused and was a bit agitated thinking they are playing a joke so I brushed it off.

Then some small things happened. Like me showing the plastic bag to Weng and the girl when they requested to see. A cat aboard the train later, accompanied by a handicapped person. I fed something to the cat.

Then, we were in this white room with flowy white curtains. We were watching a show. Shen started to tease C and me again. He said something about after the show ends, go to the front and see who's waiting for you. Half-heartedly, (cause i really doubt it), I walked like a boss towards the front of the room, pushing the flowing white curtains with a little force. There I find him waiting on a sofa alone, slightly hunched, neatly dressed in a checkered blouse, clasping both his hands under his chin, eyes fixing at the TV. I was shocked and nervous. He still wasn't looking at me. So I walked across him and sat on the right side of the two-seater sofa. I took the little sofa bolster and placed it upon my lap, leaned back and just sat there watching the tv too.

Then he said something.

I can't remember what was it.

I remember answering in Chinese, " a little bit".

Then both sat there in silence, eyes still on the tv，and a little gap between us.

It felt so peaceful and warm.  Free of any fear. I could just sit there forever.

Sweethearts

Isn't this beautiful?

My fav kind of flowers

The girl who gives me a lot of strength

Woah.. Haven't been posting photos in blogger since eons ago. 

Knowing God is worth suffering for, living for, and dying for.

Only he is able to fill up e voids. 

I admit, I like to see the beauty in things or people. That does not mean that I'm superficial though, as i look under the surface for the reality. 

These beautiful things.. They really can makes people happy. As long as there's beauty, I would be happy. I don't really know why...

I can't stand the thought of humans taking Care of their pets, protecting and providing for them, and then they eat meat. Cows, chickens, pigs, Sheeps, even rabbits and dogs.
I'm one of them too, because I havebt know better.
Now that I have.. I need to curb it.
Because I can't stand the thought.

Cracks